Combating Loneliness

How important are our relationships?

I recently finished watching Live to 100: the Secrets of the Blue Zones on Netflix. I highly recommend this documentary from author and researcher Dan Buettner, who has studied people who have unusually long lifespans living in five places around the world known as the Blue Zones. I was not only inspired to live healthier, but I loved seeing the beautiful spots Buettner visited and getting to go inside the homes of these folks and their families.

Buettner concluded that almost all the centenarians in the study incorporated 9 different healthy habits into their lives. The results can be found on their website, www.bluezones.com.

Most of their findings are not surprising. We all know the drill for healthy living — eat less meat and more fruits and vegetables, add more exercise into our daily routines, don’t overeat, learn to manage stress.

But as important as these habits are, the researchers also emphasized the need for community, belonging and a sense of purpose. Almost all the 263 senior citizens they interviewed were part of a faith community and most had what the Japanese call Ikigai, meaning “a reason to get up in the morning.”

The writer of Hebrews gave similar advice:

“And let us consider each other carefully for the purpose of sparking love and good deeds. Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near.”

(Hebrews 10:24-25, CEB)

Don’t you love it when scientific researchers come up with something that has been in the Bible for over 2000 years?

A paraphrase of the old King James version of this verse keeps running through my mind:

“Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together.”

Even back in biblical days, when people didn’t have the pleasure of sitting in their homes and watching TV or going to church online, some skipped out on the worship services. They got lazy or apathetic or angry. They were busy from their work week and family lives and no longer felt that going to the meetings was necessary.

“Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together.”

Scientific research tells us that we need each other, especially in a setting where we can share our common faith. Why? Verse 24 gives one reason — to encourage each other. We come together not just for ourselves but to give to others. And the beauty is that as we encourage others, we find ourselves encouraged and uplifted.

“Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together.”

I am blessed with many good and close friends. I have not always been this way. As James Taylor sings, “I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.”

So I cherish my friendships and realize how much I need them. But sometimes cultivating those relationships means pushing myself out of my comfort zone and being inconvenienced. It means taking a phone call when I would rather watch TV or visiting someone when it may not fit into my schedule.

The same is true of being part of my faith community. No one promised it would always be easy. But the difficult things in life are often the most rewarding.

“Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together.”

I encourage you to find your tribe, a place where you feel loved and welcomed. We need each other. Life is hard and the prospect of facing it alone is overwhelming. We need those friends and family members who check on us when we are down, bring us soup, and promise to pray for us — then do so.

We also need folks who make us laugh and lighten our loads. Those friends help me see that my situation is not so dire.

“Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together.”

Who knows, with all this healthy living we may all live to be 100. We are going to need all the friends we can get!