Unfiltered

I’m starting something different on my blog today. I’m going to actually – blog. I am an over-editor when it comes to my writing. I write and rewrite and let it sit a day or two, then edit it again. That’s not a bad thing, but it keeps me from being very productive. But I’m needing to feel connected. So today I’m just going to write what’s going on and force myself to hit publish.

This is me unfiltered, for the most part. You can read it or not. I appreciate that everyone has lots coming over their feed right now. I can’t keep up on my end. But I hope you will let me know what is going on with you also and that this can be a conversation. But I’m mostly doing this for me.

Yesterday was a down day for me. Right after posting about fighting against loneliness, I felt it wash over me. I had woken up early, 6:00, and without my usual coffee and Bible study time, took a shower, got dressed and went to Kroger in Dalton. What used to be a regular part of my week now feels like going into battle. It was the first time I had gone since this crisis started, other than quick trips to Dollar General, and it was depressing. Everything just felt weird and stressed out.

And then – well, I made a comment on a text that went out to a group and didn’t realize it was going to the group! I didn’t say anything bad, but I felt embarrassed, especially because I didn’t know a lot of the people in the group and of course, there’s no taking a text back! ugh.

But I think a big part of my problem yesterday was missing my Bible study, staring off into space, prayer time. For years I would get up early and sit at our dining room table with our cat in my lap and read my Bible and devotional book. Then Keith retired – that messed up my whole morning routine! So I took my cup of coffee and went back to bed to read and pray. That explains why I was always running late to school – getting out of bed a second time is hard!

After I retired last summer, I changed again. We live in an old house and have a sort of living room/front entry hall, where I have my grandmother’s piano, Keith’s arrowhead collection in a big case, a bookcase and my mother’s fancy living room couch. I moved a lamp by the couch and that has been my devotional area. The front door has a big window and side transoms which face East and, if I get up early enough, I can sit on Mama’s couch and watch the sun come up over Jack and Zeta’s pasture and listen to the birds. We’ve lived in this house for 32 years and I just discovered this in the past year!

So now I love this time in the morning. And as I realized yesterday, I need it as much as I need that cup of coffee, or breakfast or anything else in my life. That time anchors me. I’m reminded that God is with me. I feel Him. And my day falls into place when I ask Him to direct me.

I have several books I’m studying, but through my women’s Bible study at church, we got a link to a free Bible study from Kelly Mintner. I highly recommend it and it doesn’t take long. Here is the link for a daily email: https://mailchi.mp/8060e1871bdf/theblessedlife

so that’s it. Happy sheltering in place, thanks so much for reading and supporting me! I’ll be back!